Six months ago today, you quietly came into our lives. A stranger delivered you into my arms and I quickly began to feel my fears, worries, and the stress of a two year wait begin fade away. The emotions that I felt were the same emotions that I experienced the day that both of your brothers were placed in my arms. The joy was overwhelming and the magnitude of seeing the hand of God with human eyes as 14 families gathered in a small conference room in Chongqing, China and had their lives changed forever.
What have I learned over the past 6 months? The lessons have been many, too numerous to mention here, and one day, I will share all of those lessons with you, at just the right time. The time when you want to know what I learned during the long wait for you to be born, for you to lovingly be placed at the gate of an orphanage in Fuling, China by someone who loved you very much, for your paperwork to be completed and placed on the very same desk as our paperwork, for the match to take place, for the journey to be made, and for the our lives to be forever changed. Oh, the stories I can tell.
But what is ever in the forefront of my mind are the things that no one ever told me. Those things that I wasn't prepared for even though I read, studied, researched and prepared myself to the best of my ability. Like...
...No one told that I would experience an undying gratitude to a country that I only visited for 2 weeks. That everytime I see a picture, watch a show, or simply daydream about our travels, it takes me back to a place that I have developed a love for it's beauty, culture, and it's people - China - a land that I will never forget for it has given me one of it's greatest treaures - Fu Bao Jun.
...No one ever told me that not a day would go by without me praying for the family who God created to concieve, carry, give birth to, and finally place you where you would be found, cared for, and then lovingly deliver into our waiting arms.
...No one ever told me that I would grieve for your China Mother. That I would think about her and wonder what she is feeling. I know she must be very sad and I pray that God will give her a sense of peace. I will never be able to tell her what her gift of life, your life, has meant to me. Her gift has made me complete. I can't help but wonder if she has your spicy personality or your firey temper. I wonder if she holds her mouth like you hold yours when you get sleepy, almost in a pucker. I wonder if she loves the water, loves to go barefooted, or ate lots of fried rice while she was carrying you in her belly because you love it so. Did she place you there in the still of an April night? Did she wait across the road to see that the first person to arrive to work the next morning found you and took you in? Does she wonder now about those round, rosey cheeks and your tulip lips?
...No one told me that I would be changed forever. Oh, I've heard a million times, adoption changes your life, but no one ever told me that it changes everything about you inside and out. Beginning the adoption process, waiting on you, making the journey, and bringing you home changed who I am. It has caused me to want to be a better person - a better wife, mother, and ultimately a better Christ follower. You, sweet Jadyn, make me want to experience every second of being the mother of a toddler again. When I am away from you, I long to be with you. Watching you learn and grow causes me to marvel at the wonders of your mind. I am filled with gratitude for the lessons that you are teaching me.
I can't believe that it's been 6 months already - time really does fly when your changing diapers. Jadyn, you have renewed my soul, given me a new love for life, and simply put - you make my heart smile. Thank you for teaching me all these things while climbing on the dining room table, sticking your hand in the toilet, kissing cows, jumping on the leather couch with your shoes on, and allowing me to step in your breakfast banana in my sock feet. You, sweet one, are a master teacher. I only hope that I can continue to learn the lessons that you have for me. I love you with all my heart, Jadyn Grace BaoJun Hood.
Mommy
2 comments:
What a beautiful treasure you have and what a sweet post!
"No one ever told me that I would grieve for your China Mother. That I would think about her and wonder what she is feeling. I know she must be very sad and I pray that God will give her a sense of peace. I will never be able to tell her what her gift of life, your life, has meant to me. Her gift has made me complete."
I feel the same way. This is something that took me completely by suprise...and I pray for their moms, too.
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